If it was not for this blog post, I would bury this story forever until someday I dig it out to remind friends and relatives of mine of a lesson learned in a hard way.
It happened when I was in junior college, sharing a room with a friend. The two of us started off playing basketball together, and then later on after getting to know one another, we became friends. The ambiance of the room was fine at first because we shared many same interests, and most importantly our benefits hadn’t clashed yet.
One day, I purchased a dumbbell for exercise and we both loved it. While I wasn’t using it, he would take it and play with it; I felt terrific. However you never know when the evil worm of selfishness bits you and makes you suffer. A few weeks later, it came to my knowledge that someone else had a heavier dumbbell and was willing to exchange it for a lighter one; I was eager to make the transaction. I thought about what my roommate might react to this exchange and that feeling would definitely not rhyme with happiness. It was because he could barely life the old dumbbell, let alone play with the new heavy one. I did it anyway. When he came back and noticed the old dumbbell was gone, I told him I replaced it with a heavier one and he could still use it. I even demonstrated a few moves he could take on. I will never forget the look he gave me, as if I was a stranger to him. He said nothing of it later on and never even touched the new dumbbell. After this happened, I always felt a sense of distance with him.
I admit I was selfish at the time, but there’s something else I wish to bring out. Friends, even war brothers, are likely to turn their backs on each other when interests, especially those involving money, clash. That’s why a successful businessman once said “never partner with your relatives, because you will regret the day your relationship with him/her becomes sour out of uneven split of profits.”
Do you think friendship is meant for life, always?
Hi Zhao Chen! Indeed, it feels awful to fall out with friends and family, especially your close ones. However, I believe that good friends and family do not bear grudges against one for prolonged time, as the issue will be resolved and discussed eventually. If otherwise, that friend would not be a worthy one. At that point of time, you have thought of how your friend will react to your action (exchange). However, you may not have truly thought about how the small action might bring about unpleasant consequences. You could put yourself in his shoes so as to understand the emotional impact it will have on him? Perhaps a discussion with him or delayed gratification will eliminate the conflict. I hope that you guys have resolved the problem!
ReplyDeleteThis is a good story! I like stories. I find it somewhat heartwarming to know that you noticed the effect of your actions on your friend.
ReplyDeleteDo I think friendship is meant for life, always? I find it difficult to answer. I don't consider myself to have had many friends. Most are acquaintances, designated "friends" for convenience and to avoid alienation. I probably have a different idea of what "friend" means.
If a "friend" is as I think it is - someone you can trust in times of trouble no matter what, someone you can turn to, someone who understands how you feel and think, someone who accepts you - then, yes, I think friends are for life. My facebook is filled with only less than 10 people I can really call friends.
Friends can fight, they can fall out, they can have disagreements. But if you are really friends, serious about being friends, you will make up in the end. Like Catherine said: in the end good friends and family will not bear grudges forever. I am sorry to hear that some people think otherwise. But this is what I believe, and at the very least, this is the principle I will live by and treat others with.